And it got me thinking.
How much of it do we truly believe on a day to day basis?
When I thought of it for myself – while I do think about the possibilities in the future, I find myself often wondering about my past and looking at the future based on that past.
It’s immensely empowering to think that we can script a future that takes a very different trajectory from our past. But, it can only be empowering if we truly believe.
And I ask myself, do I?
It’s so easy to be caught up in the past, wondering about things that could have been done differently. This often results in a whole bunch of negative of emotions – most typically jealousy and envy. Because I find that I look at my past primarily when I fall into the zone of comparing myself with people I know who I perceive to have done some things better than I did. And these are typically accompanied by a whole host of negative emotions as they never work their effect on us in isolation. And then they tend to heighten/amplify our existing insecurities.
(for the Yoda lovers :))
I realize this can also flip itself around i.e. instead of focusing on past failures, we can also find ourselves stuck in past glories and find ourselves repeating the same stories over and over again. ‘Stuck’ is probably the common factor here.
Hansen then wonders if he still sees them (the imaginary people in his hallucinations). And Nash acknowledges they are still there and says
“I’ve gotten used to ignoring them and I think, as a result, they’ve kind of given up on me. I think that’s what it’s like with all our dreams and our nightmares, Martin, we’ve got to keep feeding them for them to stay alive.”
I look at our past and future’s similarly. Looking at the negative seems to be hard wired into us. And it’s also the easy thing to do as it comes more naturally. Looking at our dreams, however, means looking at the future, at possibilities. It means shoving all these insecurities aside habitually.
We’ve got to keep feeding them for them to stay alive.
Incredible deep, that is.
Because possess us, our past or our future will.
Define us, one of them will.
Decide which one to feed, we must.
Choice, we always will have.
Our pasts, we are not.
Our future, we can be.
Remind ourselves that, we must.
Part with you for now, on that note I will
Signing off now, I am.
Roda, the name is. :)