I am right and you are the prick

Relationships generally break down because of issues at both ends. Especially in the case of bad break ups (and I’m referring to both professional and personal beak ups), the problems are, almost always, both ways.

In such a situation, the best response is to just acknowledge that it didn’t work and walk away.

The worst thing you can do is to adopt the adopt the – “I am right and you are the prick” – worldview. Sure, this can feel justified. After all, the other person just didn’t do things “right.” But, right and wrong are often matters of perception. And, the biggest reasons break ups happen is because the perceptions and beliefs around right and wrong don’t align.

If you find yourself adopting that worldview, stop. From personal experience, it is a worldview born out of ego and it never ends well. And, if you find yourself on the receiving end of someone who adopts that view, walk away immediately. From personal experience again (of being the prick this time), it isn’t fun being repeatedly made to feel like the insensitive prick. There is nothing to be gained there except unpleasantness.

Such break ups are a great reminder of the importance of associating with people who you can work with / live with as we seek to build our teams, companies, and lives. There are many many ways in which this can go wrong. And, what makes human nature amazing is that when it does go right, we often take those precious people for granted.


Take care of and be present with the people that matter. In the final analysis, there are few other things that will actually count.

(As you all might have figured by now, these notes don’t come from a place of – “I am the enlightened master. Let me share my wisdom with you.” They come from a need to remind myself of what I’m learning and what actually matters as I’m generally guilty of making all these mistakes on a daily basis. So, I am always glad to hear from you when these notes resonate. Thank you for joining me on the journey!)

0 thoughts on “I am right and you are the prick”

  1. It is very important to take everyone’s ideas into consideration and be accepting and open to dissent as opposed to imposing one’s will upon everyone. Sometimes it is best to genuinely self-reflect.

  2. My worst event the last decades: Having a customer with a really great personal connection, starting a huge project together and then … “oh, but I can’t see to this project personally, we hired someone to work with you”.
    And he is my prick. And I am his prick, too.
    Really, I should have run away when I noticed we didn’t work together. Fast and far. I didn’t, because my main contact was and is gold, still. Tried to communicate we have problems. “let’s still try to work professionally”. Tried. Didn’t work. Ran a huge project against a wall.
    I am whining :) And I need to remind myself to run away from these things if personalities clash.

      1. Jup. It reminds me of this nice blog post from Jen: What if you see your own life as a book, a story:

  3. This one resonates. I appreciate your willingness to own your capacity for prickness and of course I have to own mine. And I agree completely with your insight that running around convincing folks that, really, it was the other guy who was the prick, just doesn’t work. Been there, done that, too. There’s much to be said about a gracious exit at the first sign of unresolvable trouble. Marriage, at least for me, is a whole other ball of wax with its own rules, regs, and possibilities. Thanks, Rohan.

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