A few friends and I were discussing what the true signs of confidence are. One of them commented that there are people who mask large amounts of insecurity with an illusion of supreme confidence.
I agree. I’ve come to find that the truest sign of confidence is vulnerability.
Vulnerability requires you to put yourself out there and say – “This is who I am and this is what I care about” with the knowledge that it might not work with many people. The most important words in that sense are “it might not work” – it is the lack of certainty that underscores vulnerability. As Brene Brown describes it in her wonderful TED talk, vulnerability involves the willingness to say, “I love you” first, the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees, the willingness to breathe through waiting for the doctor to call after your mammogram, and the willingness to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out.
The reason this is hard is because vulnerability is also the core of shame, fear and our struggle for worthiness.
That’s also why it says so much. You can only be authentic and vulnerable if you are comfortable saying – “I know I am not perfect but I know I am enough.”