Responding to mockers and haters

I shared a post on “To do” Archives yesterday with a picture of my own archives list. While it is possible to author blogs (possibly even daily ones) on specific topics without revealing a whole lot about yourself, I’ve found it nearly impossible to write one based on learning without baring your soul. I say that because so much of what we learn is based on who we are. So, in writing here every day, I definitely end up sharing my quirks.

One of my quirks, for example, is my morning routine – a topic I’ve written about plenty of times. Getting that first hour and a half right is an important part of starting the day and I love building momentum by checking off a few simple tasks. In this case, I shared a screenshot of my lists yesterday and I can still remember the trepidation when I used to share such stuff here a few years ago (even if there was barely anyone who read it). I still find it a bit uncomfortable. That discomfort doesn’t go away with time – I think you just develop a thicker skin.

I woke up this morning to 2 comments from yesterday’s post mocking my lists.

responding

The reaction a couple of years ago would have been that uncomfortable feeling of the muscles in the stomach constricting followed by a need to either say something sarcastic or perhaps vigorously defend why the lists are the way they are.

But, the beauty of doing this for a long time is that you learn, over time, to see the light side and keep a bit of perspective. When you take a few leaps and put yourself out there, it is always possible for you to fall flat on your face. Sometimes, even without falling flat on your face, there are people who stand on the side laughing at your attempt.

But, if you do happen to be one of those leapers, you are generally very empathetic of others who’re out there giving it their best shot. Yes, it doesn’t always work. And, no, it isn’t always perfect. But, in putting themselves out there, they’re attempting to be the best they can be. And that, to me, deserves all the respect in the world.

So, my suggested response to those who mock you is to just walk away. It isn’t worth engaging. I’ve found it much more worthwhile to move onto building the next thing.

(A side note: There exists an age-old philosophical debate among bloggers about whether or not you should turn off comments. Seth Godin is one of the strong proponents of turning them off while many others, e.g. Fred Wilson, are big proponents of leaving them on. I’ve found more positivity than negativity as a result of leaving them on. However, this can change as you move from a small-time blog as in my case to a large blog with a lot of haters and trolls.)

0 thoughts on “Responding to mockers and haters

  1. Rohan, thank you for sharing your learnings. I admire your ability to be introspective, and I think you are brave for allowing yourself to be vulnerable!

  2. Firstly Rohan, I really liked your idea of archiving the to do list. I’d say it almost represents a tangible way to celebrate your own efforts that contribute to a long-term goal but, in isolation, don’t deliver that short-term high of completing a project and acknowledging success or failure. I’d imagine looking back on your lists, after you’ve completed long-term ambitions, reinforces the significance of doing the work every day that contributed to the long-term achievement.

    Secondly, bravo for having the courage to put a personal list up on the blog, and even more so for sharing how you feel and deal with the negative vibes from the few. I’ve no doubt this post will help the people that are putting themselves out there and encounter the same negativity, or fear of it.

  3. I’m always amazed at the fact that people take the time to “hate on” those who are putting themselves out there. It boggles my mind that a person would read a blog post avd the best comment they can come up with is “take a dump.” Keep sharing my friend because as they say in my hood “Haters gonna hate!”

  4. The quote by Theodore Roosevelt that you posted back in September comes to mind. Where you are the strong man by sharing your habits and learnings, and the mockers are the critical, timid souls who cannot share because they dare not risk leaving themselves open to scrutiny.

    It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

  5. This viral world makes haters (aka the wounded) seem more prominent than ever so it quite literally fills me with delight to witness folks like you responding with an “oh…okay… whatever…”. On another note, my most productive days begin with the kind of list you suggest (and so why don’t I do it everyday? she asks herself). Many thanks.

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